peace.love.respect

Met Faridah,Xian Da, Faezah and Kuan Tzu at 10am.
(All in order of the arrival timing,I was the first.)
Trekking at macritchie was a diff experience from the last time.
We walked much faster now and the weather was diff.
It was raining when we were walking.
It was getting heavy. So,from wearing cap changed to using an umbrella.
The ground was muddy and soft.
It was totally diff. experience. I like!
Coz I get to explore. And with the guys,it was more fun!
But i will want the rest to come n join the fun.
It okay...its better than nothing.

After a long walk, we went to thomson plaza to eat.
It was the time to recharge with food and drinks.
Then, we were strolling in the plaza and went to Yamaha shop.
I was amazed by all the musical instruments and I will want to have it.
If only I have the money.
But i did bought a guitar pick even faridah bought it.
Mine is red whereas faridah was purple.
I am going to borrow guitar from kuan tzu coz i cant afford it.
I feel like today is the start of my music learning. hahas.



Peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

I love all of my BFFs!!


It was a busy and unplanned day for me.
But it was great to meet my beloved ppl.
I went to Chinatown to return those unsold xmas cards.
Then head back to yishun with kuan tzu to meet faridah.
We went to SSC to look for jobs and had our lunch there.
Having to decide the place to eat was difficult.
There wasnt much places to eat so went outside where there are many coffeeshops.
Then we head to northpoint to meet faezah.
We juz chill at starbucks. Chat to catch up with the good old times.

Ok...tmr is the day I have been waiting for.
We will be going trekking.
I hope everyone will be able to make it.
It will be a fun outing.
Cant wait for tmr...aye!!

Peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

I went to look for jobs and had 3 interviews today.
Love my mum n sis for accompanying me the whole day finding the places.
N giving me the support.
I will freak out n will be speechless.
Tats who i am...always being quiet n is afraid to even speak.

Went to OG BUGIS to meet my mum's fren who recommended me a job
as sales asst. I will just replace her whenever she cant make it.
Like on sunday when she have church.
So..tat means I will only work once a week.
Well...at least I alr have sort of a job to work for.
There was tis guard whom I met looks so alike as Faizal Yusoff.
I was so high! I cant concentrate on wat Brenda was telling me.
She told me to give my belongings to him b4 i start work.
Gosh! I have to communicate with him.
So excited!
However,I am scared to start work coz I am so shy to face ppl and now I have to persuade ppl
and assist them. I will be all alone. There are no other staff.
well...I guess I have to learn and gain experience.
I believe I will be better and efficient.

while i was in the bus heading back home,I saw Mr Latiff on the opp.
side of the road. He was in his subaru forestor black car.
He was laughing away with someone.
Well...didnt expect to see him on the road.

Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

Hey there!
I am looking for girls age 17 and below to play soccer.
There is a tournament on 17 january.
I need 7 ppl. I am also looking for a manager.
I am going to ask mr leong if he can teach.
Those who are interested pls contact me.
I need ppl asap.
The deadline is on 7 dec.
Pls...ppl I need to play this.
This is what I have always wanted to do.

I dont want to be alone.
Lately i realised that whenever I am alone, I will think a lot of stuff.
Right now, I just received a news from mama that we are in need of money.
We are due to pay a huge amount of money if not we will be charged.
Argh!! I need to work. I am still waiting to be employed.
Come on!! I guess all the money that I will earn will be given to mama.
I dont really need the money. I just need food and drink.
Whatever it is..I want to help mama.
I also want to give happiness to fudeen and syasya.
Does not have to be gifts or trips but just some happiness.
I want us to be a happy family.(excluding u noe who)

I want to learn guitar.
Anyone willing to teach me?

Plus one more thing...Is there any football and hockey club that will accept me?
I really want to join to pursue my dream.
I am saving money to buy football boots CTR360.

Morning was relaxing. I even skate using nadrah's skates.
It was nice to sweat a litlle and chat.
The dessert we had was cooling and delicious.

I love them and I hope they loves me too...hehe

Although I dont really express it..but I hope u guys knows that
I love you all and is very grateful to have u guys.
Thanks a lot!
Faezah,Faridah,Ika,Nadrah,Kuan Tzu and Xian Da.






Dont I look like FT?
Seriously...I was shocked to see myself in the pic.
juz look at the hair.
okay...Im becoming like him...
All im left with is the sunglasses,gloves,guitar,superman shirt and a rocking performance.

Peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

Went to Broadway at 6.30pm to have a stroll and buy my fav. drink GreenTea.
All alone..walking. It was very windy.
Walked past a lift and was shocked to see a weak lady being assist by a grp of ppl.
She seems to be very weak and was not at god state.
those ppl were dragging her and brought her to a car.
I think she need to go to the hospital and get treatment.
That shocked me and causes flashback.
I was scared.
I dont want the same thing to happen to my mum.
The walk to broadway was hurtful for me.
I walked slowly and dazing my mind away from reality.
Many nasty incidents in my mind.
All are flashbacks and my worries on the future.
I cant bear to go through more of this.
I need to talk to someone.
I know who he is but its impossible for now since I have alr graduated.
Rite now..IDK who to talk to..who to consult...

I think I am going crazy.
I cant stand this feeling.
Why is all this happening to me?
its okay..juz like what FT says everything happens for a reason.
There will be a happy ending.
I hope so....

Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

I spent my morning tidying my room.
Make it my own with a liitle touch of me. hahas
What do I mean by that?
First I arrange all storybooks,comics and magazines.
Then set aside a sports corner where I put all of my sports equipment.
Then I hang my clothes.
Paste pictures on the wall and arrange those with frames on my table.
I still have not print 4e2 class photos to paste on the wall.
I will do so soon when I have the time and the money. Damn it!
Once ready I will take a pic and post it on LJ.
And my very own most favourite spot is the Liverpool wall.
I paste 3 posters-2 Steven Gerrard and 1 Fernando Torres.
One of Steven Gerrard and also Torres poster was a bdae gift from my bro.
Plus a gift from Mr Ng,the limited edition scarf.
I still have keychains from Ika which I dont know how to display it.
I will figure it out soon.

Next plans,I wanna buy TV and some games or anything for entertainment.
So that I can bring my friends along anytime.
We can juz chill and chat here.
If we have no idea what to do or there isnt any plans.
With this we will be able to save cost. hahas
Isnt my idea geat?

Hmm...Im going to NVSS later accompany my bro to take his uniforms.
Then we will be going to Safra to bowl whereas my sis will swim.
I hope this plan work. I dont want to be stucked at home.
Anyways...it has been a long time since we had outing since mum was hospitalised.

Oh yeah...speaking about hospitalised,my beloved Faizal Tahir was hospitalised.
Due to lung infection. There was blood when he cough.
He is now really very weak.
Plus his knee injury while playing futsal which has alr operated has not recoverd yet.
This is very sad for me and all the Rockensteiners.
We hope he get well real soon for his beloved wife and three kids and his career.
He have to be well to put up a great show for MUZIK MUZIK AKHIR 24.
I feel like I wanna go to Shah Alam and visit him.
Come on Faizal! Superman is tough and I know u will be at top form again.
We will pray for u.

Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

I am so happy to receive this shirt from fan club, Rockensteiner.
I have been waiting for it for like 2 months.
The shirt is a little big for me although it is at the size of XS.
Well...I guess I am too small.
Have to workout and shape some muscles. hahas

Today I feel a little abnormal.
Its like my mind was thinking about a lot of stuff that makes me look "emo".
I wasnt happy. what for? im unsure.
I feel so empty. This emptiness in me makes me think a lot.
Thinking about the future. Just anything that comes into my mind.
I feel so helpless looking at my family state.
I want to change it. For the better.
But how? I do have my own dreams.
How do I achieve mine when I feel that my dad is not supportive.
His only concern is my future of being a good housewives who knows how
to do all the chores. He worries a lot that I wont stay long with my husband.
What a stupid mindset! Marriage is not just about being able to do great chores or
to serve the man everything he desires. Its about love, trust, responsibility.
It is also about sharing. Its a teamwork between the guy and the lady.
I am furious when he says that but I cant do anything.
I cant express it but just have to follow all his orders juz like following the lieutenant orders.
I have to listens to everything he says but nothing of what I says.

I just hope that my husband to be will prove my dad wrong.
I wonder who will that be.
When will I ever start a relationship?
I guess no one is there for me.
Well...I am happy to have my BFFs.
They always makes me happy and are there when I need them.
Thx Faridah,Ika,Faezah,Nadrah,Inda,Kuan Tzu and Xian Da.
I love u guys to the max.
However, I do wish they have the same interest as me.
Which is sports.
Who do I play sports with? Who do I watch sports with?
Who do I talk with? They wont understand and the talk will be boring.
Singapore vs Iran is on 6 Jan. Anyone care to join?
I just want a sports buddy.
I thought I have one..but it doesnt seems to be so.
Well...I guess Im not cut to be the next singapore athlete to bring glory to Singapore.
Dreams will just remain as dreams.
No family support. No friends support. Financial problems. Down with knee injury.
Is there room for me to be a great national player?

No one has called me yet for a job.Im rather worried.
I still cant find a sports related job.
My objective was to get a job first then start my sports training.
If I were to be given a place in the club.
I am now uncertain of my next move.
I dont know what to do.
Reporting for duty.Sir.

Well...I guess for now I just go with the flow.
Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

4E209 BBQ
On the 16th, I went to Costa sand in Mr Latiff's car with Faridah, Zechariah, Mei Ling and
Zi Ying.It was awesome for me although it was a quiet journey.
He was speeding up to 120. That was fun!
I will speed if i own a car or bike.
I will buy jacket n gloves that matches my bike.
I will also modified both my vehicles and add spoiler on my car.
Anyways...On the first day, we played arcade.
shooting,racing on both car n bike.
On the second day, we went to play arcade again.
n there is this table top football which i have no idea what it is called.
I played against Kuan Tzu n i won. 4 nil. hahas

BBQ was awesome.
Everyone was wild n was enjoying themselves.
Be it teachers or fellow friends.
It was a great feeling.
We were like rocking into oblivion.

Faridah and I were undecided if we want to go home or stay overnite.
At last,Mr Chia send us home together with cheng hwee,sheena and liming.
There are a few who followed Mr Latiff.
I reached home at midnite. I was tired.
It was kind enough for Mr Chia and Mr Latiff to be our drivers.hahas
Well...thx to them for being responsible and nice ppl that are willing to go for an extra mile.
Mr Bala is the man! He is the backbone of 4e2. He is just the best.
He is my role model.

I was looking job with Faridah accompanied with Ika, Xian Da and Kuan Tzu.
I really hope I can get a job real quick.
I am willing to do more than one job in a week so that I can settled bills n daily expenses.
I am finding sports related job so that it is easier for me as that is my interest.
I ask for Remy help and hope that he can find for me a job.

Finally, I am thinking of ways to persuade my dad to allow me play hockey and football.
I have yet to get back to my coach in the hockey team. Tournament is due next year.
I am lost with ideas to ask for my dad's permission to allow me join my aunt's football team.
Although I have never experience playing football properly.
I dont know any tricks and is not skilled.
I have only been observing ppl play and by the TV. Just by looking at Indra's moves.
I hope that my aunt take me in and coach me so that I can be a great player n represent Singapore.
If I am going to train, I will buy the boots similar to Indra's. I am so excited. But I am also scared.
I have just played street soccer which has smaller court and is a fast n furious game.
I learnt to play this game through the boys whom are strangers.
I really want to play sports bcoz I cant stand the temptation which I have been holding back
due to O level.

peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

Hey!
how is my new haircut? nice?
Ika,Faridah,Faezah,Kuant Tzu, Xian Da and Izzul went to town for a little spin.
Just to have a taste of freedom i guess.
Sort of to celebrate on the fact that we have finished our O level.

Ika and Izzul bought stuffs at Taka.
I wanted to buy a carebear for someone birthday.
Well..i changed my mind coz i dont have the cash.
N im not sure if he will like it.
I really dont know what to buy. I have a week to think abt that.

We also went to Esplanade and Singapore River.
poor Kuan Tzu who doesnt know what is that two places.
Well..we as his best friends should show him since he is the foreigner.
hahas.





Now...im going to look for jobs.
I am feeling down due to the unvacancy of jobs in mediacorp as a calefare.
Idk what to look for n where.
Haiz....

tmr is the class chalet..cant wait.
hope everything will go well.
I dont want the same thing to happen like last year.
I hope it will be fun.

Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

 Keep on rocking my beloved ppl!!

Hey there!!!

today marks the day of our last O level paper.
I bet lots are feeling relieved.
After the paper..i was indifferent. dont know why.
I guess it is because from now on life will be different.
Who do I talk to after this? seek help from?
Im gg to be the next breadwinner...
More responsibilities awaits.
I do want lots n lots of fun and adventure.
Okay...now I have to check with my coaches if i can still join.
I hope my knee wont create more problems.

To all my beloved friends...
there are so much plans..lets go okay!
And i really hope our friendship will last.
may we always be together till we have our own career,family and kids.
till we are old!

I love all of u!! including the teachers...

Nadrah,Faridah,Kuan Tzu,Xian Da,Gary,Shao lun and I went to Breeks cafe.
We went there straight from sch after science MCQ.
its a little celebration.
We had fun although its a little expensive.
I shared the cost with faridah.
the total bill was abt 63 dollars. GOSH!
Its okay i guess since its our first time.
The next time we go will be when we all have started working and
have more cash.

Peace.Love.Respect.

You'll never walk alone!!

Zulfiqar Sukiman
Hey there ppl do keep on rocking yeah!!

I received a random call( random: is what he do best.) from zul.
He wanna mit and ask me for a favour.
well...okay..I help him to be his victim in interview. hahas.
He is doin a psychological module and need to interview sec 4 students.
So...thats me!

I waited for him for an hour then he arrived. Well....as usual.
I was angry n my muka was selamba when I walked.
I then bump onto my old friend who shouted my name from behind.
Had a ltittle chat then I went off to Burger King. The usual meeting place.
I waited...n waited...n he arrived.
He said HI! I just Hi! My reaction was not responsive...
he asked y..i juz kept quiet.
I juz doesnt know why..maybe I am angry towards him.
Anyways...he treats me as a forgiveness for being late and also as a thx for being his subject.
The scene becomes much more lively. We had fun.(I think)
so...our nonsence, dinner and interview ends at 10pm.
Gosh! now he knows almost everything abt me that my BFFs doesnt know.
I even had to break my promise with Mr Bala, Mr Ng and Mr Leong.
Im sorry.

He then send me home regardless of the fact that I had moved to AMK.
He said that it is his responsibitiy to do so n
futhermore it is not sweet fot a girl to be roaming around at night.
Isnt that sweet?
For the first time...when I was about to sit at the back seat he wants me to sits at the front
besides him...hmm...okay. actually i love to sit at the fornt coz there is this feeling of driving.
I juz love to drive and ride the bike.
Btw...zul wants me to call him if i want to take motorbike license.
We will be taking it together. Yeah! I have a friend.
OKay...it was a start of our such a long time not having dinner or even meet together.
Next time it will be my turn to interview him.
I would like to know more about him.
I think it is unfair for him to know a lot about me but me knowing less about him.
So...Zul or should I call ur nickname? hahas
Next time do call me to meet or something you will be victim.

Peace.love.respect.

You'll never walk alone!

Hey there! keep on rocking my rockensteiners!

3 papers are down..so far quite okay..
paper 1 english n math paper 2 was a little tough.
I was panic of course as I was afraid not being able to make it.
I was also scared not to be able to enrol in the course i want which is sports n wellness management.
i am also afraid not being able to make my family,friends n teachers proud.
haiya....lets aim to get 2 As n the rest will be B.
All in all will be 15 points.
can i achieve that?
insya allah.
if they have faith in me..y not i have the confidence too?
i should. Even Allah doesnt like ppl to bellttle their own abilities.
yeah!

Anyways...Happy birthday to Faizal Tahir!
keep on rocking!
I am waiting for d shirt n ur new album aye.
if i have the chance I will go to KL n watch ur performance.
Not only that but to have a long chat with u n also be the best of friends.hahas.
salute out!

peace.love.respect.

you'll never walk alone!

 
Hey!! keep on rocking!

its been quite a while since i played any sports.
I cant resist d temptation. I will feel very fidgety when studying.
I really need to break free n do sports. Get all sweaty.
I'm pretty sure many gals will response ewh...disgusting getting sweaty n all tat.
well...tats me. Sports is my life..my passion..my love.
tat is y i wanna pursue it as a carrer n to excel being a well-known n respected athelete.
juz like Indra Sahdan and Fandi Ahmad.
Let me make singapore, my family,friends, teachers n all those who have always help me proud.
I wont forget u guys! I love all of you.
Indeed d journye is mot easy...but is is possible for me to get good grades..into d course tat i want.
so tat I am able to see my idol..Indra Sahdan n be lke him.
As an athelete, businesswomen n also a great career ahead..maybe as a coach or open up
a gym or sports clinic.
I am indeed very ambitious. So..in order to achieve all tat..O level is my stepping stone.
After I have finish with Os..I will join my aunt's football club.
Rejoin police hockey club which I had abandon it for 1 year due to Os.
N also silat. I cant wait to kick some butts..hahas....

besides all these..there is also a reason behind it.
I want to change my family life. Breakthru d poverty cycle.
we dont have to be rich to be happy but juz lead a simple,happy n healthy life.

so......

you'll never walk alone.

peace.love.respect. 

Today is d start of our normal sch routine after 2 weeks of prelim 3 paper.
Gosh! that was an roller coaster ride. I was exhausted.Very exhausted.
Even Mr Bala realised that. He approached me and asked if I was okay.
Coz I look tired. Well..my ans was I did not sleep last nite.
He asked y. I said I went crazy last nite.
He then said ok lets talk about this after ur paper.
I was gosh! He was d ever d first person to notice me.
OK! Others are much more personal which I think only,mostly mr bala noes.
I dont want it to spread. Anyways, I find he is d only person that understands me.
D one that sort of replace my grandmother. Dont get me wrong.
She used to be d one whom I called everyday,visit everyweek to talk abt everything.
Now she is gone..I so called have found someone to talk to n get advices..MR BALA!
I feel that I am blessed to have him n d other teachers..of course.
Since O levels are drawing nearer..I am getting scared for many reasons.
One..d exams which I dont think I am up to standard.
Two..I will miss d sch esp. teachers..who do I talk to later on?
Three..d results..coz y relatives were like asking how preparation for Os...
Four..I am afraid I cant help my family n regret for my entire life.
There are other reasons whch I will keep to myself..


Juz received some papers today. Not going to reveal yet.hahas.
There is improvement but still failed but at least there is progress.
I think that is important. So now..d next move is to score well. really well.
At least 2 As. Hope that I wont be getting Cs. But I am now getting Cs. Hmm....
I really hope to so that I can go to NYP SW.
Pls let me in!!

Anyways I am missing a lot of ppl and is at a dilema.
Ok ok...calm down..
Look @ d scarf mr ng gave..
look @ d poster my bro gave..
look @ my phone wallpaper..
It is clearly stated..YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!

peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

                  Rock on!

                 Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!
    Siapakah yang sudi 
    menghulurkan simpati kepada nasibku ini
    Agar dapat kurasa
    nikmat di hari raya
    seperti insan yang lain               
                                            cahaya aidilfitri-black dog bone
Wat a sad festive season...I have not been visiting any homes yet.
There is no family tat I can visit If there is it will be far away.
Since my grandparents are no longer alive,I wont be visiting any homes
coz normally their home was where we will visit n spend d day with them.
Haiz....
Early in d day on d 1st day of raya, we met my aunt at northpoint.
So..D four of us with my aunt,obek. Dad is left alone at home.
Obek brought us to Starbucks for breakfast n spent more than 40 bucks.
 Lava cake..yummy
It was my first time eating there.I noe quite a sad story heh..
Then we waited for taxi. Headed straight to d cemetery.
Both my grandma n grandpa. It is sad not able to celebrate with them.
This year I have been stuck at home watching tv.
When we were having lucnh at foodcourt there was a guy asking
'celebrating raya here?' I juz kept quiet.
Sad...
I look at my neighbours houses n saw many were visiting.
My heart was in damn pain..its like being scratched.
I was crying. I cant believe I will experience tis.
I would love to enjoy tis happy occasion.
I hope my frens n teachers can help me realise tis dream of mine.



My mum bought tis pendant for me on hari raya at goldheart.
I was puzzled y we enter at goldheart n look at d pendant.
I was europhic to accept it coz mum have never buy stuff like tat for me.

Ok ok...here is a family pic. btw..tis costume we wearing are last year.
As we r gg to cemetery we cant wear so fancy...

                                                                                                                     Syafawati aka syasya..my sis      Salamah..my mum

Syariffudeen..my bro.

 This is my aunt..Asiah.

Peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

I met Ika at northpoint to pass her d cornflakes!
I was out with Ika..shopping.
I was looking for a watch,red colour n of course d sports type. Round n digital
But it was so expensive so I did not buy it. We went to Wats on n bought ehem!
cough! sorry I cant say it..hahas.
Anyways..I had fun.
Well...I then became very busy making kueh for mr Latiff. He ordered 150.
So..I will be giving it to him tmr. I hope I can visit his hse with my frens.
Shd I ask him tmr? hmm....

Actually...Im not tat excited for hari raya..wats there to celebrate?
my grandparents are no longer around n I dont intend to visit my dad's family.
D pain in my heart is too deep n has been bleeding for d past 14 yrs.
I only wanna visit my mum's side. But tis yr is not d right time coz nenek juz passed away
n it is not nice to be visiting n enjoying.

Im gg to cook ayam masak merah a recipe from one of my fav. singer,jeff catz.
Since mama cant eat meat due to high blood pressure, Im gg to cook tat n maybe fish.
I would like to thank my neighbour for buying for me  my sis n mum baju kurung.
Thx to those who ordered from me.
Thx to Nancy n family for giving us food n clothes.
I am blessed to have such kind hearted ppl tat cared abt my family.
Thx to those who r always there for me.
Teachers,frens n those general ppl.
In general, I would like to say a big THANK YOU n I LOVE YOU.


Peace.love.respect.
You'll never walk alone!

Keep on rocking....NOT. Its time to be sad.
Faizal Tahir is undergoing surgery tmr. tis is a shocking news.
I juz read his recent post. He hopes tat everything goes well so tat he can sing n perform.
He injured his knee ligament when he was playing futsal.
I am so worried tat i cant focus on my geography.
Tmr is geog paper. Argh!!
Insya allah everything will be fine.
I have yet to see FT in person. I would like to noe him n so called be his fren.hahas.

FT..Rockensteiner will always be there for u. Be 'super' as always my SUPERMAN.
Keep on rocking. Peace out.

Peace.love.respect.
You will never walk alone!